2022 was my first year fully single! I was so excited for a year of freedom and lots of fucking. I did hookup a lot this year, though not as much as I thought I would. It was an interesting year of trying to return to my slutty pre-relationship self, but also my first time fully single in my 30s. Sex does feel different now. Still with every new penis that enters my body a new lesson is learned. So here’s what I learned from all of my hookups in 2022.
1. DON’T HOOKUP WITH A FRIEND’S FRIENDS…ESPECIALLY IF THEYR'E IN A FAILING RELATIONSHIP
Hooking up with a friend of a friend is already dangerous territory. Especially if things go wrong, and then that puts your friend in an awkward predicament. Which is exactly the predicament my friend was in when his friends I had a threesome with didn’t like what I had to say about them in my blog about our encounter. Granted…I was honest. My honesty just triggered their insecurities. I was on vacation so it’s not like I had to see them again, but still was awkward for my friend having his friends at odds. Normally I try to avoid getting with my friends’ exes, past hookups, or even friends. But it was Orlando…there’s barely any options there. Everyone gets with everyone, and drama is sure to develop when everyone gets with everyone. Along with if a couple is having problems and thinks threesomes will solve their issues with each other.
2. NOT EVERY GUY IS MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE AN STI
STIs are part of the casual sex lifestyle. Especially when you’re out here fucking raw. Big D and I have been hooking up for years, so I expected him to be mature about me finding out I had an STI. He acted cool about it at first, but then ignored me ever since. Oh well. It is kinda dumb to reject a guy because he had an STI and told you to get tested, since you can still catch an STI from any new guy in the future. Luckily I had something quickly and easily treatable, but some guys are just too immature.
3. I CAN’T DO MICRO PENISES EVER AGAIN
I used to hookup with this DL Latino guy during the pandemic. He has a super small penis, but he’s a quick cummer so I didn’t mind it. Though now I’m over it. I just don’t have tolerance to deal with micro-penises. Like there’s no pleasure in it for me. They’re not enjoyable to try to even have sex with, and honestly there’s no enjoyment in even sucking them. They’re a waste of my time, and I’m not going to waste my time to pleasure someone else with no pleasure for myself.
4. BATHHOUSES ARE NO FUN ANYMORE
Pre-pandemic I used to love the bathhouse. It was so fun. You never know who you’d run into there. There’d be lots of hot guys and wild nights sometimes, and the bathhouse is my favorite after hours spot. Then Covid happened and ruined everything. I was hoping since we’re now 2 years post pandemic that things would get better, but then monkeypox came around. Gays are too scared of public sex places now. It’s flaccid! Bathhouses are like the only place we have left exclusively for gay men. They’re our secret gay oasis, and they’re dying now that these viruses keep coming out and attacking the gay community.
5. I’M TOO OLD FOR DL COLLEGE BOYS
DL men used to be my weakness. The bi-curious “straight” boys and the “straight” guys with girlfriends I couldn’t resist. Now I definitely prefer openly gay men, but I’ll still enjoy a bi-curious boy every now and then. Though this DL college guy I got with took way too long to cum. He was only 18/19 but I didn’t have the energy to suck his dick for like an hour. I am getting old! I want a man that cums in a decent amount of time. 20 minutes max! I don’t have the stamina I used to to go for hours and hours…unless it’s a rare instance where I catch feelings. This was not one of them, and I need to leave these young college boys alone.
6. ALWAYS HAVE A BACKUP PLAN
Normally I have no luck when I try to book more than one guy in one night. I usually end up with none when I try to be greedy and double book. Though sometimes it comes in handy to have a backup plan. Especially when I waste my time driving 30 minutes to hookup and the guy flakes. Luckily I had another option and still ended up getting some action.
7. IF THEY WEREN’T WORRIED ABOUT STIS OR USING PROTECTION THE FIRST TIME BUT ARE THE 2ND TIME WE HOOKUP, THEN THEY HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW
This has happened to me multiple times this year. I’ll have great raw sex with a guy. Then the next time we meetup, they suddenly are asking me about my last time getting tested and contemplating using a condom. WTF. It’s proven true each time that they’re only suddenly worried about STIs and protection because they’re dating someone. I don’t care if you have a man, but at least tell me. Just be honest and transparent. I don’t care that you have a man…just tell me you do.
8. I CAUGHT FEELINGS FOR A CHEATER
I’ve hooked up with many guys with girlfriends, boyfriends, and even some married men during my life. Every time I’ve always known better to not catch feelings. It’s just sex. Just fun. Just casual encounters. I never liked any of them on a deeper level, but then that all changed this year. Chicago Boyfriend changed all that, and he has a boyfriend. I want this man so badly. I was catching feelings for him as I was emotionally detaching for my ex, and I think that’s why it was so easy for me to get over my ex because I was already falling for someone new. Unfortunately someone new has a man. Granted we still fucked, went on a date, and even took pics together. Just we can’t be together. Granted we don’t even live in the same city and I don’t believe in long distance, so we weren’t going to be together anyway. Still…I’m a little disappointed in myself for falling for another man’s man, even if I did start to like him before they got together.
9. CHICAGO DOESN’T HAVE THE BEST BATHHOUSES, BUT THEY HAVE THE SEXIEST MEN
I’m in love with Chicago. Granted falling for a guy that lives there did help make me more interested in Chicago, but I’ve visited twice now and I’m in love. I do want to move there, even though I’m terrified of the winters. So many people did hype up Chicago and tell me Boystown is the best gayborhood and Chicago has the best bathhouse. Neither of which i found to be true in my own experience. I like Boystown and Steamworks is cool, but neither are the best in the country in their categories. Still, Chicago is a place I want to call home.
10. I LIKE BEING A SUGAR DADDY
I feel like a lot of guys as they get older start to resent the idea of having to spend money on guys to keep their attention. They want to go 50/50 or not feel like they have to entice younger guys with money and stuff. Though when I was younger I wasn’t getting with guys 10 years older older than me without financial incentive. Not like they were paying me for sex, but I want some free meals or at least pay for my transportation or something. Like that’s why I never liked guys in their 30s…they were always so cheap and like in denial they’re no longer in their 20s but still want to hookup with guys in their 20s. It was annoying and a turnoff. I’m not paying guys for sex, but if I want someone and I’m horny then I’ll pay for their Uber to my place, or their parking at my hotel. I’m not against spending money, especially if I have it. I want dick, so I’ll do what I gotta do to get it. Especially if the guy is 10 years younger than me and I’ve been wanting his dick for months. I don’t mind paying for his Uber to my place, though he’s paying for his way home. I already got what I wanted. He’s on his own after that.
11. NO GUY IS OFF LIMITS IF WE’RE NO LONGER FRIENDS
I’m all about loyalty and boundaries in friendships. I don’t want the drama of getting with the same guys. Which is why when I’m friends with someone I don’t get with guys I know have already been with my friends. There are some few exceptions though it’s usually if we end up getting with the same guy at the same venue like a bathhouse or sex party and didn’t have time to claim a guy first. Or other random one night stand exceptions. Still it’s a line I don’t like to cross. I don’t want to get with a guy that has been with a friend. Though once we’re no longer friends then that guy is no longer off limits. I’ve not had many friends where we even have the same taste in me, though there are rare times when I have had friendships with guys that have the same exact taste in guys as me, and it does lead to these messy situations. So I did end up having a lot of amazing sex with a guy that was previously off limits, but since I hadn’t seen that friend in a year and a half that guy was no longer off limits. He has a boyfriend anyway, so my former friend was a side piece, and then I was one too. I did get my karma though, since syphilis made me unable to enjoy sex for 4 months afterwards.
12. I LOVE A HAIRY MAN
I am so turned on by body hair lately. I used to be disgusted by a follicle of back hair, and now I don’t even mind that on a man. I love to just bury my face into a man’s thick hairy chest, and even his chest hair poking out from the top of his shirt turns me on so fucking much. It’s so funny how our tastes can change as we get older. I always liked a man hairier than me, but I’m naturally smooth. Now I like a big fully furry bear.
13. DC SEX PARTIES CAN’T COMPARE TO ATLANTA
I’m spoiled when it comes to sex parties. My very first one was during Black Gay Pride in Atlanta. It was in a 3 bedroom apartment, were even the living room was divided to create even more rooms. There was like 100 guys there. And it was in my apartment building, and open bar. It was amazing. So any sex party after just hasn’t lived up to that. The sex party I went to during Black Gay Pride DC was in a motel room with 2 beds and only like 20 guys. This is why DC will always be the #2 Black Gay Capital after ATL. The other cities just can’t live up to Atlanta.
14. PARTNER SWAPPING TURNS ME ON
I didn’t end up partner swapping during Black Gay Pride DC, but my friend and I went back to a hotel room with 2 friends. He hooked up with one friend, and I got with the other. It was fun. Though my guy kept being weird and jealous. He didn’t like that I’d look over to see what my friend was doing. Then he didn’t like hooking up in the same room as his friend so he took me to the bathroom, but then his friend was too drunk and passed out so my friend and I got sent home. It was odd. But lately I’ve been fantasizing about partner swapping. i wouldn’t do it with a boyfriend, but I think it’s a hot fantasy to be hooking up with a guy and then another couple is hooking up, and then the bottoms swap tops. I think that would be hot. I want to try it.
15. GUYS IN RELATIONSHIPS ARE GETTING ANNOYING
I love hooking up with other people’s boyfriends, and not the ones in open relationships. It’s fun being a mistress. A secret rendezvous turns me on. Just some of these guys with boyfriends are annoying. Like this one guy keeps wanting to hookup with me again, but he has limited availability since I guess his boyfriend stays over during weekends, so he’s only free weekdays, but he doesn’t hit me up until like the last day he’s free. Like I’m a bottom. I need time to prepare. I need time to plan my day, arrange my eating schedule, time to douche. Like I don’t have time for these guys that want a quick hookup while their man is gone, or want me to have to work around their schedule. Some guys with partners are terrible with cheating and being accommodating of the person they’re cheating with’s needs.
16. SOME SHORTIES CAN GET IT
My height filters on apps are set to no one more than an inch shorter than me. I’ve always preferred guys bigger than me for dating and hooking up. That’s still always going to be my preference. Every now and then I see a short guy, usually latino since they tend to be really short, that catches my eye. I have this buff gym crush that is Latino and he’s only like 5'5 most likely, but he could definitely breed me. I did hookup with this cute super short Latino guy after work. He wasn’t even beefy like I like, but he was cute. So I’m getting more open minded. I doubt I’ll be changing my height requirements, but I’m wiling to make exceptions.
17. I LOVE FEM TOPS
I already dated a fem top, but this year I feel like I’ve completely gotten over being brainwashed by toxic masculinity. I’m turned on by guys with fem qualities. A fem voice, painted nails, wears flamboyant and feminine clothing. As long as you got the body type I like and can top, then I’m into it. I love fem tops!
18. THEY ALWAYS COME BACK
It’s crazy to think I’ve been hooking up with a guy since he was 19 and he’s 26 now. yet he still hasn’t even come out of the closet. He swears he’s bi, and he’s had a girlfriend for a few years. Yet he’s still on Grindr like daily. There’s been times we’ve fallen out, and he acted like he was too good for me, but his ass always comes back to me.
19. CAR PLAY ISN’T THAT BAD
I’ve hooked up in more cars this year than ever before. DL guys can never host. It does make things creative, and dangerous hooking up in public places. Well in the privacy of a car, but still in public. Still haven’t really gotten fucked in a car, but I did suck a lot of dick in cars this year.
20. I CAN TELL GUYS ARE POZ BY LOOKING AT THEM
Considering 50% of black queer men are poz, it’s not that difficult to guess who’s poz and who is not. Since there’s a 50/50 chance with every guy. Still I feel like I’ve gotten better at spotting a poz person. Like when this guy I was with at the bathhouse wanted to have a threesome with the guy, but I wasn’t into it because I could just look at the guy and tell he was poz, and I was right. So I ran out of there first chance I got. With 50% of black gays being poz I’m either going to have to face my fears and try to be poz friendly, or just go back to mainly hooking up with guys of other races. My favorite fuck buddy this year was white…and the only guy I had feelings for this year is half white, so I’m halfway there.
21. CALIFORNIA GAYS ARE THE FLAKIEST FAGS EVER
Flaky fags are nothing new to me. Gays are flaky. Yet I wasn’t prepared for how frustratingly flaky California gays are. California is the state with the biggest population, and Los Angeles is the 2nd largest city in the country population wise, and yet it’s so fucking hard to get dick there. Nobody wants to put in the effort to actually meet people. All signs are pointing to California just isn’t the place for me.
22. LA IS THE BBC CAPITAL
One highlight or interesting fact I learned about Los Angeles is that it’s full of a lot of big black dicks. I wasn’t expecting every single guy I chatted with on apps to have a big dick. It was bizarre. I don’t know what’s in the water in LA, but the dicks are huge. I had my hole obliterated by one. It was amazing, and I don’t even like big dicks. Now I can’t wait to take another big dick. Like maybe 2023 will be my big dick phase, though I still love average to slightly above average, but big dicks can be a lot of fun too.
After Tennesssee I finally got my sex drive back, just in time for the final week of Slutty Summer.
Gorilla and I have been hooking up on and off since 2016. I hadn’t seen him since 2020. He’s so flaky and annoying. We’re both Scorpios, and our personalities don’t mesh well at all. Whenever we talk we always get into arguments.
The last time I was supposed to hookup with him, he canceled on me after I’d already left my house and was driving to his place. Granted, I was still on my street, but I was pissed I’d prepared and already gotten in the car to drive to him, just for him to cancel last minute.
I don’t like my time wasted. I have blocked and unblocked Gorilla so many times. I can’t stand him, but there’s so few options around here, and he does always find a away to contact me even when I have him blocked most places.
Now when guys have wasted my time to the point where I fully prepared and even driven to him just for them to flake, I don’t put in the full effort to prepare for them anymore.
They get a half douche. In which I don’t give a fuck if my water runs clear. Normally I do 4 douches and I’m good to go, but now if you wasted my time, you only get 2. Honestly I didn’t even bother to shower before I went over either. Whatever. I showered the night before.
So gross. No wonder guys are always complaining on Jack’d about guys with bad hygiene. But I’m in my don’t give a fuck era. Plus these guys want to rush and have hookups in a small time frame, which means I wouldn’t even have time to fully prepare.
I didn’t want to keep Gorilla waiting too long, since the longer I took to get ready the more likely he’d be to cancel.
I got to his apartment. He was working from home while we hooked up, but he made it work.
We did have great passionate making out time. That is the great thing about Scorpio men. As terrible as their personalities may be, they are very passionate lovers.
Gorilla only fucks with condoms. I rarely fuck with condoms, since they’re so uncomfortable for a bottom. We still fucked in 3 different positions.
Missionary, doggy, and then I even rode him on the couch. It was fun. There was a little “mess”. Or brown lube/mucus discharge from my ass.
Oh well. When you waste my time and make me waste a full douche on you, I don’t give a fuck if you get shit on your dick. We still had fun, and he was asking if I was free to return the next day, so Gorilla didn’t care. Neither did I.
Had to go to Tennessee for work.
I’d already been talking to a guy from there for months. I like to scope out an area and have potential guys to see lined up before I even get there.
I wasn’t expecting the guy i’d been talking to there to want to meet as soon as I got there. I was out running errands and he tells me he’s already on his way over.
He’s my type. Thick and beefy, black and dark skinned, he has dreads/locks, and is a muscle bear. We’re both mainly bottoms, so we knew we most likely wouldn’t do anal. But we’re attracted to each other, and thankfully he enjoys receiving oral, since if a bottom prefers to give oral than receive then there’s nothing we can do together sexually.
He came over, and it was fun. We were both very passionate, and enjoyed making out. I noticed his underboob scars, and he revealed that he had man boobs in the past but had surgery to get them removed. I always hate when guys get their boobs cut off, since it makes them look like trans men. But his actually looked good. He sitll has some pecs/man boobs. I am not into flat chested men, but I like his body.
He also told me later he takes testosterone. Which I think might count as a steroid. I have known for years that many gays use steroids. Especially all the huge muscle gays you see on social media. Not even just the big muscle ones. The amount of gays using steroids is more common than most could imagine. He’s just the first guy I’ve been with that openly admitted to using them.
He was really into dry humping. More than anything else. Like pretending to fuck but not actually fucking. it was different. He did say he struggles with staying hard. Which explains why he mainly bottoms. I have the same issue.
We did cut hooking up short, because he had plans later. I also said I wanted to see the city, since my last time in Tennessee I didn’t get to go into Nashville. So he took me on a driving tour of Nashville. It’s a cute city. I also learned he was rushing his time with me, because he had a date with another guy planned later. I appreciate his transparency, but also rude to double book.
He still took me to get takeout, before he took me home. So it was an enjoyable evening together, despite how rushed it was.
I did see him again the next night, briefly. He took me out to get tacos, in between him giving Uber rides. Which was also nice. We still talk and are cool. I enjoyed my time with him.
My only other hookup experience was the morning I was leaving. The night before I had gotten messaged by this DL black guy. He said he read my profile, and said he fit the description of my type, and he did.
He is married with kids, so the only time he could get away to hookup was the following morning. Which worked for me, since I’d been waking up early every day and had to leave in the morning.
He came over, and had a sexy thick southern accent. He was thick and bearded, just like I like. He mainly wanted to do oral, but I like to fuck more. My mouth gets tired having to suck dick for a long period. Though he didn’t have condoms, and neither did it, but he still ended up putting it in. He was paranoid, since he’s married, but he still was into me enough to fuck me raw, briefly. I sucked him some more, but then I got on top and rode his dick. I used to hate riding, but I’m trying to get more into it this year. It’s just not a comfortable position to be in for long.
He didn’t want to fuck too long, since he’s paranoid. I do like when DL guys do seem to have some concern for their wives, even though he’s still cheating and fucking guys behind her back raw. But at least he had some concern and paranoia.
I ended up sucking and jerking him off until he came, and I licked up every drop. Then we cuddled for a bit. If I lived down there, I’d definitely want to hookup with him all the time. No idea when I’ll be back down in Tennessee. I do still want a trip that’s just to Nashville and stay in the city, since I was out in the suburbs.
I had a great time. I got way more dick and actually had a sex drive in Nashville, unlike in DC. So I’m just happy to have my sex drive back. It was not a Slutty Summer for the most part. Ironically Summer is my least slutty season. I’m ready for fall!
I went to DC a few weeks ago. I needed a weekend getaway. I was most excited for the trip because I just wanted to lay by the pool.
I went to a hotel I stayed at with my ex, and my favorite thing about the hotel was the pool. It’s also at a great location in the city, and so close and walkable to everything gay in DC.
Unfortunately, just like my trip to DC last summer, I had no sex drive. I think I was depressed. Summer is my worst time of year financially. It’s when work is least consistent, and my bank account is at its lowest.
When I lived in Atlanta, being at my brokest made me my sluttiest. Now if I’m at my brokest I have no sex drive.
DC is. supposed to be a black gay capital, but it really was looking like Toronto. It was a white gay utopia where everyone looks and dresses the same. The white gays run DC. It’s even more white and gay than how people stereotype LA or NYC gays. I’ve never seen that homogenous of a gay population anywhere in the US before. DC is supposed to be the 2nd biggest black gay capital after ATL, but DC was very very very white. The black people must be in the DMV part, because they weren’t in DC.
I haven’t had a good slutty trip to DC since I went to DC Black Gay Pride last year. Possibly because all the guys I got with weren’t from DC. I got with guys that all lived elsewhere, so maybe DC men just aren’t for me.
Even the ones I was talking to online weren’t appealing to me. Until I was about to leave, and that’s when guys I actually found attractive were messaging/getting back to me. Last summer when I went to DC it seemed like everyone was poz, which also ruined my sex drive.
DC ended up just being a chill trip. I was there with a friend. He had a slutty good time, but I just wanted to enjoy the pool and get away from home for the weekend.
Then of course the day after I got back I got paid, and instantly felt better. Now I have to go to DC when I’m not at my brokest point of the year, so that I don’t have this situation.
My last 2 DC trips have been such disappointments for dating/hooking up. I need a doover.
Song of the Day: “Hollywood” by Victoria Monet feat. Earth Wind & Fire and Hazel Monet
Song of the Day: “We Could All Use Some Help” by Wrabel
Song of the Day: “That’s How It Goes” by Zoe Wees feat. 6LACK