2022 was my first year fully single! I was so excited for a year of freedom and lots of fucking. I did hookup a lot this year, though not as much as I thought I would. It was an interesting year of trying to return to my slutty pre-relationship self, but also my first time fully single in my 30s. Sex does feel different now. Still with every new penis that enters my body a new lesson is learned. So here’s what I learned from all of my hookups in 2022.
1. DON’T HOOKUP WITH A FRIEND’S FRIENDS…ESPECIALLY IF THEYR'E IN A FAILING RELATIONSHIP
Hooking up with a friend of a friend is already dangerous territory. Especially if things go wrong, and then that puts your friend in an awkward predicament. Which is exactly the predicament my friend was in when his friends I had a threesome with didn’t like what I had to say about them in my blog about our encounter. Granted…I was honest. My honesty just triggered their insecurities. I was on vacation so it’s not like I had to see them again, but still was awkward for my friend having his friends at odds. Normally I try to avoid getting with my friends’ exes, past hookups, or even friends. But it was Orlando…there’s barely any options there. Everyone gets with everyone, and drama is sure to develop when everyone gets with everyone. Along with if a couple is having problems and thinks threesomes will solve their issues with each other.
2. NOT EVERY GUY IS MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE AN STI
STIs are part of the casual sex lifestyle. Especially when you’re out here fucking raw. Big D and I have been hooking up for years, so I expected him to be mature about me finding out I had an STI. He acted cool about it at first, but then ignored me ever since. Oh well. It is kinda dumb to reject a guy because he had an STI and told you to get tested, since you can still catch an STI from any new guy in the future. Luckily I had something quickly and easily treatable, but some guys are just too immature.
3. I CAN’T DO MICRO PENISES EVER AGAIN
I used to hookup with this DL Latino guy during the pandemic. He has a super small penis, but he’s a quick cummer so I didn’t mind it. Though now I’m over it. I just don’t have tolerance to deal with micro-penises. Like there’s no pleasure in it for me. They’re not enjoyable to try to even have sex with, and honestly there’s no enjoyment in even sucking them. They’re a waste of my time, and I’m not going to waste my time to pleasure someone else with no pleasure for myself.
4. BATHHOUSES ARE NO FUN ANYMORE
Pre-pandemic I used to love the bathhouse. It was so fun. You never know who you’d run into there. There’d be lots of hot guys and wild nights sometimes, and the bathhouse is my favorite after hours spot. Then Covid happened and ruined everything. I was hoping since we’re now 2 years post pandemic that things would get better, but then monkeypox came around. Gays are too scared of public sex places now. It’s flaccid! Bathhouses are like the only place we have left exclusively for gay men. They’re our secret gay oasis, and they’re dying now that these viruses keep coming out and attacking the gay community.
5. I’M TOO OLD FOR DL COLLEGE BOYS
DL men used to be my weakness. The bi-curious “straight” boys and the “straight” guys with girlfriends I couldn’t resist. Now I definitely prefer openly gay men, but I’ll still enjoy a bi-curious boy every now and then. Though this DL college guy I got with took way too long to cum. He was only 18/19 but I didn’t have the energy to suck his dick for like an hour. I am getting old! I want a man that cums in a decent amount of time. 20 minutes max! I don’t have the stamina I used to to go for hours and hours…unless it’s a rare instance where I catch feelings. This was not one of them, and I need to leave these young college boys alone.
6. ALWAYS HAVE A BACKUP PLAN
Normally I have no luck when I try to book more than one guy in one night. I usually end up with none when I try to be greedy and double book. Though sometimes it comes in handy to have a backup plan. Especially when I waste my time driving 30 minutes to hookup and the guy flakes. Luckily I had another option and still ended up getting some action.
7. IF THEY WEREN’T WORRIED ABOUT STIS OR USING PROTECTION THE FIRST TIME BUT ARE THE 2ND TIME WE HOOKUP, THEN THEY HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW
This has happened to me multiple times this year. I’ll have great raw sex with a guy. Then the next time we meetup, they suddenly are asking me about my last time getting tested and contemplating using a condom. WTF. It’s proven true each time that they’re only suddenly worried about STIs and protection because they’re dating someone. I don’t care if you have a man, but at least tell me. Just be honest and transparent. I don’t care that you have a man…just tell me you do.
8. I CAUGHT FEELINGS FOR A CHEATER
I’ve hooked up with many guys with girlfriends, boyfriends, and even some married men during my life. Every time I’ve always known better to not catch feelings. It’s just sex. Just fun. Just casual encounters. I never liked any of them on a deeper level, but then that all changed this year. Chicago Boyfriend changed all that, and he has a boyfriend. I want this man so badly. I was catching feelings for him as I was emotionally detaching for my ex, and I think that’s why it was so easy for me to get over my ex because I was already falling for someone new. Unfortunately someone new has a man. Granted we still fucked, went on a date, and even took pics together. Just we can’t be together. Granted we don’t even live in the same city and I don’t believe in long distance, so we weren’t going to be together anyway. Still…I’m a little disappointed in myself for falling for another man’s man, even if I did start to like him before they got together.
9. CHICAGO DOESN’T HAVE THE BEST BATHHOUSES, BUT THEY HAVE THE SEXIEST MEN
I’m in love with Chicago. Granted falling for a guy that lives there did help make me more interested in Chicago, but I’ve visited twice now and I’m in love. I do want to move there, even though I’m terrified of the winters. So many people did hype up Chicago and tell me Boystown is the best gayborhood and Chicago has the best bathhouse. Neither of which i found to be true in my own experience. I like Boystown and Steamworks is cool, but neither are the best in the country in their categories. Still, Chicago is a place I want to call home.
10. I LIKE BEING A SUGAR DADDY
I feel like a lot of guys as they get older start to resent the idea of having to spend money on guys to keep their attention. They want to go 50/50 or not feel like they have to entice younger guys with money and stuff. Though when I was younger I wasn’t getting with guys 10 years older older than me without financial incentive. Not like they were paying me for sex, but I want some free meals or at least pay for my transportation or something. Like that’s why I never liked guys in their 30s…they were always so cheap and like in denial they’re no longer in their 20s but still want to hookup with guys in their 20s. It was annoying and a turnoff. I’m not paying guys for sex, but if I want someone and I’m horny then I’ll pay for their Uber to my place, or their parking at my hotel. I’m not against spending money, especially if I have it. I want dick, so I’ll do what I gotta do to get it. Especially if the guy is 10 years younger than me and I’ve been wanting his dick for months. I don’t mind paying for his Uber to my place, though he’s paying for his way home. I already got what I wanted. He’s on his own after that.
11. NO GUY IS OFF LIMITS IF WE’RE NO LONGER FRIENDS
I’m all about loyalty and boundaries in friendships. I don’t want the drama of getting with the same guys. Which is why when I’m friends with someone I don’t get with guys I know have already been with my friends. There are some few exceptions though it’s usually if we end up getting with the same guy at the same venue like a bathhouse or sex party and didn’t have time to claim a guy first. Or other random one night stand exceptions. Still it’s a line I don’t like to cross. I don’t want to get with a guy that has been with a friend. Though once we’re no longer friends then that guy is no longer off limits. I’ve not had many friends where we even have the same taste in me, though there are rare times when I have had friendships with guys that have the same exact taste in guys as me, and it does lead to these messy situations. So I did end up having a lot of amazing sex with a guy that was previously off limits, but since I hadn’t seen that friend in a year and a half that guy was no longer off limits. He has a boyfriend anyway, so my former friend was a side piece, and then I was one too. I did get my karma though, since syphilis made me unable to enjoy sex for 4 months afterwards.
12. I LOVE A HAIRY MAN
I am so turned on by body hair lately. I used to be disgusted by a follicle of back hair, and now I don’t even mind that on a man. I love to just bury my face into a man’s thick hairy chest, and even his chest hair poking out from the top of his shirt turns me on so fucking much. It’s so funny how our tastes can change as we get older. I always liked a man hairier than me, but I’m naturally smooth. Now I like a big fully furry bear.
13. DC SEX PARTIES CAN’T COMPARE TO ATLANTA
I’m spoiled when it comes to sex parties. My very first one was during Black Gay Pride in Atlanta. It was in a 3 bedroom apartment, were even the living room was divided to create even more rooms. There was like 100 guys there. And it was in my apartment building, and open bar. It was amazing. So any sex party after just hasn’t lived up to that. The sex party I went to during Black Gay Pride DC was in a motel room with 2 beds and only like 20 guys. This is why DC will always be the #2 Black Gay Capital after ATL. The other cities just can’t live up to Atlanta.
14. PARTNER SWAPPING TURNS ME ON
I didn’t end up partner swapping during Black Gay Pride DC, but my friend and I went back to a hotel room with 2 friends. He hooked up with one friend, and I got with the other. It was fun. Though my guy kept being weird and jealous. He didn’t like that I’d look over to see what my friend was doing. Then he didn’t like hooking up in the same room as his friend so he took me to the bathroom, but then his friend was too drunk and passed out so my friend and I got sent home. It was odd. But lately I’ve been fantasizing about partner swapping. i wouldn’t do it with a boyfriend, but I think it’s a hot fantasy to be hooking up with a guy and then another couple is hooking up, and then the bottoms swap tops. I think that would be hot. I want to try it.
15. GUYS IN RELATIONSHIPS ARE GETTING ANNOYING
I love hooking up with other people’s boyfriends, and not the ones in open relationships. It’s fun being a mistress. A secret rendezvous turns me on. Just some of these guys with boyfriends are annoying. Like this one guy keeps wanting to hookup with me again, but he has limited availability since I guess his boyfriend stays over during weekends, so he’s only free weekdays, but he doesn’t hit me up until like the last day he’s free. Like I’m a bottom. I need time to prepare. I need time to plan my day, arrange my eating schedule, time to douche. Like I don’t have time for these guys that want a quick hookup while their man is gone, or want me to have to work around their schedule. Some guys with partners are terrible with cheating and being accommodating of the person they’re cheating with’s needs.
16. SOME SHORTIES CAN GET IT
My height filters on apps are set to no one more than an inch shorter than me. I’ve always preferred guys bigger than me for dating and hooking up. That’s still always going to be my preference. Every now and then I see a short guy, usually latino since they tend to be really short, that catches my eye. I have this buff gym crush that is Latino and he’s only like 5'5 most likely, but he could definitely breed me. I did hookup with this cute super short Latino guy after work. He wasn’t even beefy like I like, but he was cute. So I’m getting more open minded. I doubt I’ll be changing my height requirements, but I’m wiling to make exceptions.
17. I LOVE FEM TOPS
I already dated a fem top, but this year I feel like I’ve completely gotten over being brainwashed by toxic masculinity. I’m turned on by guys with fem qualities. A fem voice, painted nails, wears flamboyant and feminine clothing. As long as you got the body type I like and can top, then I’m into it. I love fem tops!
18. THEY ALWAYS COME BACK
It’s crazy to think I’ve been hooking up with a guy since he was 19 and he’s 26 now. yet he still hasn’t even come out of the closet. He swears he’s bi, and he’s had a girlfriend for a few years. Yet he’s still on Grindr like daily. There’s been times we’ve fallen out, and he acted like he was too good for me, but his ass always comes back to me.
19. CAR PLAY ISN’T THAT BAD
I’ve hooked up in more cars this year than ever before. DL guys can never host. It does make things creative, and dangerous hooking up in public places. Well in the privacy of a car, but still in public. Still haven’t really gotten fucked in a car, but I did suck a lot of dick in cars this year.
20. I CAN TELL GUYS ARE POZ BY LOOKING AT THEM
Considering 50% of black queer men are poz, it’s not that difficult to guess who’s poz and who is not. Since there’s a 50/50 chance with every guy. Still I feel like I’ve gotten better at spotting a poz person. Like when this guy I was with at the bathhouse wanted to have a threesome with the guy, but I wasn’t into it because I could just look at the guy and tell he was poz, and I was right. So I ran out of there first chance I got. With 50% of black gays being poz I’m either going to have to face my fears and try to be poz friendly, or just go back to mainly hooking up with guys of other races. My favorite fuck buddy this year was white…and the only guy I had feelings for this year is half white, so I’m halfway there.
21. CALIFORNIA GAYS ARE THE FLAKIEST FAGS EVER
Flaky fags are nothing new to me. Gays are flaky. Yet I wasn’t prepared for how frustratingly flaky California gays are. California is the state with the biggest population, and Los Angeles is the 2nd largest city in the country population wise, and yet it’s so fucking hard to get dick there. Nobody wants to put in the effort to actually meet people. All signs are pointing to California just isn’t the place for me.
22. LA IS THE BBC CAPITAL
One highlight or interesting fact I learned about Los Angeles is that it’s full of a lot of big black dicks. I wasn’t expecting every single guy I chatted with on apps to have a big dick. It was bizarre. I don’t know what’s in the water in LA, but the dicks are huge. I had my hole obliterated by one. It was amazing, and I don’t even like big dicks. Now I can’t wait to take another big dick. Like maybe 2023 will be my big dick phase, though I still love average to slightly above average, but big dicks can be a lot of fun too.
Had to take some time off from Slutty Summer…I’d been too slutty and well had to take a week off. Doctor’s Orders…
Back to regulary scheduled sluttiness.
This 20 year old messaged me. He was working across the street from where I was working. He’s 6'4, black, had an average build (he was slimmer than I usually go for, but had some meat on his bones), and had a really thick nice dick but he wouldn’t let me touch it.
The encounter was weird and uncomfrotable.
He was cute but really awkward. We hooked up in the men’s bathroom at his job, but it wasn’t even a discreet or secure location. We were in the handicap stall, but he people kept coming in to kiss and shit in the stall next to us. There were only 2 stalls. I thought it would be at least not a busy bathroom with it being towards the end of the day, but that bathroom kept having guys coming in and out.
So he wanted to stop every single time and make sure we don’t draw attention, but he clearly didn’t know what he was doing.
He was sitting on the toilet and then we’d make out with me standing over him. He really mainly just wanted to makeout. I could tell he was intimacy deprived, because he was really into the holding each other and kissing each other. It was kinda cute and kinda sad. He just wanted to be touched by a man.
He can’t host and can’t travel. I think he lives with his homophobic daddy, so he said he can’t do much at home. Even in my younger years and I didn’t drive yet, I still could host. I’d just sneak guys in my parent’s basement. So I can’t fully relate to not being able to host and travel, and also thankfully I went away to college so that I would have freedom to be a slut and as gay as I want.
I just thought he was dumb because he’d keep telling me to crouch down when someone was in the bathroom, though I thought it would be more discreet if I had just straddled him on the toilet so two pairs of feet wouldn’t be visible.
We kissed, he sucked my dick and ate my ass, and I sucked his neck. I never sucked his dick because he refused to let me, and wouldn’t tell me why. Eventually I just got the vibe that neither of us are going to cum, and I wanna go home since it’s getting dark. We were in there like 30 minutes. I would’ve rather had hooked up in the car, but I guess there was no way for him to leave the store while on the clock without getting noticed.
We talked on Snapchat after. He seemed cool at first, and I was getting vibes that maybe I could be his gay mentor. Which is odd but that’s how the gay world works. People hookup, and then decide to be friends/coworkers/mentors etc…but sex is usually what causes us to allow new gays into our lives.
Then he got really fucking annoying. He realized I gave him a hickey. He loved me sucking his neck and wanted me to do more. Hickeys happen. I get them all the time. Guys love giving me hickeys.
He’s darker than I am, so I didn’t think it was that noticeable He was worried about his dad seeing. I told him to get some cortisone. It doesn’t make them go away right away but makes them go away faster. He wouldn’t shut the fuck about the hickey and being paranoid.
Bro…shit happens. It’s been rainy lately. Wear a fucking hoodie or rain jacket. It’s summer but it’s been rainy and stormy daily. Like find a way to get rid of me.
There’s nothing I can do about your hickey. it’s too late. You already got it. You work at a store. Make it go away.
Then he got on my fucking nerves even more and we stopped talking after he asked me if I was really clean because he’s having trouble breathing. Boy shut the fuck up and go the fuck away.
I already showed him my results. How dare you ask if I’m clean. Granted I did just have an STI a week or two prior, but I haven’t been with anyone in weeks.
He’s too young and dumb for me. Exactly why I prefer guys my own age. Well for dating. Young guys are fine for sex, but let’s not talk after if you’re fucking stupid. I get being young. i was super paranoid about STIs when I was younger, well mainly scared of HIV, but that’s why I go and get fucking tested every 3 months and I’m on PrEP.
I tried to get him on PrEP. I want to save the new generation of black gays. 50% are already diseased. We need to save the uninfected.
But yeah…I have no interest in ever seeing or speaking to him again. It was fun for a moment….but he was too young and dumb for me.
I enjoy being slutty all year round but there’s something special about summer. Slutty Summer is an annual tradition of aspiring to be as sexual as possible during the warm months. Summer is the time for Pride season, warm weather, and wearing as little clothes as possible. Perfect recipe to be wild, though this year I’m not feeling my normal slutty self.
Branden’s Boy Problems Ep 137: Slutty Summer 2023
Follow me on all social media platforms!
Absence can make the heart grow fonder, if absence didn’t teach you you’re better off without your toxic ex. Nearly a year apart is time to hopefully correct your toxic traits so you can be a better partner, but giving a toxic ex another chance is also possibly just repeating past mistakes.
SexxxPerTease Ep 256: Should I Give My Toxic Ex Another Chance After 9 months Apart?
Follow me on all social media platforms!